Christian Brimo - 'My Friends'

...so i found some of my man Christian's old writing on my computer. Thought i would post some of it, and hope he doesn't kill me:

10:25 PM 9/08/2005 Christian Brimo MY FRIENDS

My friends walk like Beat poets talk like dice rollers reject theory laugh when i call bullshit My friends bitch about girls wear strange hats Armani belts fur fringed coats My friends pay lots of money to see bands you've never heard give me music i've never heard know the girl on the door and still get charged cover My friends are too nice for this world don't find me sexually attractive (except the guys) are 'only joking' when flirting don't believe I'm a poet My friends are virtual don't respond when i talk 'heh' to all my jokes My friends don't show up at my readings or that one play i wrote My friends are anyone who ever smiled or said 'hi' My friends don't call when they have free tickets are only joking when they dance with me won't tell me how to pick up My friends don't care how weird I am get the coolness of Victorian poetry and thrift store cool coat hunting My friends don't stay when i leave a place can't survive distance or a few days away are too full of energy and 5am Great Barrington stoplight symmetry Massive Attack Coleman Hawkins Miles Davis bong morning Ginsburg reciting Beat worshiping pavement pounding shadow trailing legendary jumping 5am half-cup studying nonsense spewing stepping razor House of Leaves Les Mis Mario Kart

My friends are stuck in time trapped voices My friends are hearing this (if you count a smile or Roundhouse beer or 4 months of dice rolling as friendship) My friends sleep when i'm awake wake i'm asleep buy me beer when I need coffee Bukowski when I need Bowie My friends know Byron matters My friends finish my sentences My friends are too good for this world cynical to causes 'cause i'll laugh if they aren't My friends are a hardy breed taking my ramblings my rants and wild hair My friends have stacks of Discworld books (even if I met them at a punk show) and Spider-Man comics (or a gallery opening) and Darth Vader masks (or a ballet) My friends have friends in bands that you'll hear next year on Triple J and I'll say 'I know that girl singing that' and you'll laugh and call me a wino but my friends won't do anything because my friends don't fight and I just run away

Photo of the author from 2005 below:

Woker's Rally

rally passed by Town Hall on Tuesday the 2nd of December:

...pretty typical.

Guy Fawkes should have joined parliament.

Carbon Neutral Day Woman

...now even CD manufacturers are jumping on the green-hippie-Western-guilt bandwagon:

...carbon neutral CD? Come on..... packaging sucks, no booklet or track details; and everyone knows the whole carbon-offset/carbon-trading scheme is a scam anyhow.

FUCK BOB DYLAN FOR WHORING HIMSELF OUT WITH THIS! (first the 'tell all autobiography', then siding with Starbucks, and now this - he has officially gone senile)

Ann Coulter tax joke

....my uncle sent me the following joke, via email:

Bar Stool Economics

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:

The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.

The fifth would pay $1.

The sixth would pay $3.

The seventh would pay $7.

The eighth would pay $12.

The ninth would pay $18.

The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.

So, that's what they decided to do. The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve. 'Since you are all such good customers, he said, 'I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20. Drinks for the ten now cost just $80.

The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free. But what about the other six men - the paying customers? How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his 'fair share?'

They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer. So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.!

And so:

The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).

The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33%savings).

The seventh now pay $5 instead of $7 (28%savings).

The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).

The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings).

The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).

Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings.

'I only got a dollar out of the $20,'declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man,' but he got $10!' 'Yeah, that's right,' exclaimed the fifth man. 'I only saved a dollar, too. It's unfair that he got ten times more than I!'

'That's true!!' shouted the seventh man. 'Why should he get $10 back when I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks!' 'Wait a minute,' yelled the first four men in unison. 'We didn't get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!' The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.

The next night the tenth man didn't show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important.

They didn't have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!

And that, boys and girls, journalists and college professors, is how our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In fact, they might start drinking overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.

David R. Kamerschen, Ph.D. Professor of Economics, University of Georgia

For those who understand, no explanation is needed. For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible.

...now it may not be as hot, fun and sassy as Ms Coulter herself....:

...but it's still at least racy.

LUST

So the University of New South Wales has a shiny new advertising campaign going. All Apple colours and silhouettes:

* Name of place = check

* Contacts = check

* Young looking Person = check

....only selling university as a piece of meat with eventual paper to help with employment and future purchases = check.

ITS HIP TO BE A HIGH-CLASS HO!!

VASELINE - for that silky feel

New ad for Vaseline, it all makes sense with the celebrities and all that, til you look a little closer....

...dude must have needed coke money.

EZZO

Her flow is smooth as silk.

Hassle for the drop!

EZZO THE LEZZO

...the streets tell me that Young Lethal (reps: Bathurst) is trying to bite Ezzo's (reps: East-Side) hold on the mike. I am told its because of Lethal's defection to the green pastures; leaving Ezzo to tread the bricks; and face any haters, solo.

I for one hope their trash-talkin stays on wax; because these battles can be good for the game; but only if cats be playing fair.

Below is an old photo of Ezzo and Lethal chillin before the beef.

Rolling hay Vs rackin-up K.

Je T'aime... Moi Non Plus

Serge Gainsbourg. Lecherous. Talented. French.

He recorded, and bedded not only Brigette Bardot; but, most importantly; the pinnacle of 1960's sexuality, Jane Birkin; all whilst managing to write some of the best pop songs Frace, or indeed the world; has ever heard.

I have added this video of him telling Whitney Houston live on French T.V, in 1986; that he would "like to fuck her".

The best bit, by far, is how adamant Serge is in saying it. Watch the interviewer try to cover it up by saying Serge is drunk.

Serge Gainsbourg drunk? Only on life...... only on life.

Further Education

I am back, back, firmly, within the full bowels of 'further education' (an undisclosed university/college in Sydney). There has been some changes to her whilst i have been away, however, changes that will make my experience, well, simply better. Better and more streamlined; comparisons of the switch from vinyl to MP3 are mentioned frequently.

New head of school, individual disciplines merging into huge conglomerates (goodbye separate schools of history, film et al, hello school of Media,Film and Theatre), more foreign fee payers, more buildings, more chairs, more speed, more choices of coffee, more computers, more students in lectures and tutorials, more teachers, more staff.

I wander through the entrance. Through a sea of more. More. MORE.

I am reminded of the whore of Babylon, willing to let all enjoy her moist opening, and experience it to its fullest, not caring about interest, aptitude or creed; all in the name of capitalism, individual needs/wants and the simple desire for more. The whore is insatiable.

She whores to pay for shiny new earrings, takes more penises into her trembling gateway, crates more width at her opening, movement becomes streamlined to allow for more (*runt, runt, runt............runt* "baby can you let me slip in the back?", "shore for 30 more, here's some soap to clean us....i'm ready" *groan, rrruuuunnnnt, runt, runt......* "ohhhh yeah baby, that's it, you like it? your bad..... it feels so much warmer and tighter...." *runt.....runt* "...sorry darl, but can you hurry up and finish, there's not just you in the pleasure cue you know")

It shore looks good, all this more.

I wonder, though, at what has been displaced in the name of more; the opportunity cost, to use a term dear to economic rationalists the world over, from Margaret Thatcher to Stalin. Have we got more, or merely the appearance of more? Like bad bars that give large, watered down shots; or those XXL food packets that are half full of stale air....

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Their are more students, that is undeniable; however the able have been replaced by the payable, leading one to feel like a stranger in the sea of fee-paying foreigners; - I imagine my blond hair standing out in a sea of black, like a lone boat on a stormy sea - Foreigners who get distinctions for their gibberish speeches, waisting everyone's time; because their accompanying essay was so 'brilliant'. Foreigners who wander through like a segregated other-race. Foreigners who pay and are passed even when they fail, so the school doesn't have to deal with the paperwork. Foreigners with different dress, jumbled speech, and a strict diet of information without knowledge or questions. Foreigners who wield so much power, because, after all, they bought the uni MORE.

I wonder constantly what runs through their heads? Pixelated dreams of the Holy Virgin Mother? Doller signs? Godzilla's lumbering body carelessly destroying all in its way? Either way i can't imagine anything behind their facade, no real desire to question, only a simple pathetic need to parrot.

Foreigners who seem to be merely going through the motions, waiting to be able to leave this place, after their tour of duty; their reward a slip of paper to better their chances at employment.

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I am told that there is more help available at university now for those on the fringe, more positive discrimination.

Seems they are attempting to boost the politically correct bottom (the blacks, the poor, the retreaded, the women etc.) in order to offset their blatant favouritism of those who 'paid for the privilege up front, and in full'. This creates a process were those who are 'normal', opinionated, intrigued and actually engaged - i am sick to death of the utter silence of students in lectures and tutorials, are they too scared to make an accident? Or do they really not care, so long as they pass? - with their subjects become the bitch. A bitch with no rights as a result of its lack of direct payment, and politically correct tragedies and backgrounds.

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My friend Kylie tells me after a lecture of her experiences with a mixture of pleasure and pain:

"so i am being introduced to my psychology class, and the lecturer is adamant that their will be no 'spoon feeding' in this class. He goes on to read through the course outline detailing the exam, the assessments, the online course notes that should be printed out by students individually, mentioning all the time that 'THEIR WILL BE NO SPOON FEEDING IN MY CLASS'.... so he gets near the end, and he switches tone a little; requesting all the members of the aboriginal/koorie association on campus to stay around after class. I stay around with the other koories after class. The lecturer stands beside a high brilliant white stack of paper. 'Here are all the extra course notes guys, and we know you may have some problems, so if you need any help don't be afraid to ask...'." - Kylie

Kylie comprehends were she stands, just as much as she understands the inherent hypocrisy of the university system. A system were lecturers talk of refusing to 'spoon feed' their class during a lecture, yet provide all the special, underprivileged kids with the necessary spoon, crooning all the while about 'here comes the food plane, *butta..brut..buttttatta* open the hanger, their's a good boy/girl, make shore you don't let any get away now! Swallow it all'.

I guess its just plain and simple that capitalistic needs are overriding normal student wants - countless classes are cut as they are no longer 'economically viable', tutorial sizes increase in the name of efficiency, university is shortened from 14 to 12 weeks; and the list goes on -; whilst at the same time, the politically correct are treated like children, in order to provide the institution with a sympathetic and humanitarian facade.

Liberal Education my ass

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POSTSCRIPT: with all this in mind, i am talking about university from the standpoint of a BA (arts) student, a field that, unlike say economics or engineering is not about route learning; but instead individual engagement. A field that is meant to lead to more questions, not parroting. I guess i just worry that the arts degree as dreamed about and often parodied is dying; and it fricken makes me wanna snap!